Tuesday, March 30, 2010

A Heavy Heart

We got some really excruciatingly sad news today... it is private, and I am respecting the people involved by not sharing it here. Suffice it to say that there is a lot of pain and sadness right now.

This evening after getting the news, one of my very first thoughts was to turn to food. I immediately tried to decide what food I could/should eat to comfort myself. It's such a natural reaction for me. I'm sad, I eat. I'm happy, I eat. I'm bored, I eat. I'm worried, I eat. It's such an ingrained habit that I really don't think much about it. I just do it. Or at least the old Melissa did. The new Melissa, tonight, when my brain automatically went to thoughts of food, asked myself, "Am I hungry?" When I knew the answer was no, I ended the thoughts. HUGE step in the right direction. I identified a potential sabotage on myself and gave it the kibosh. That is a great step in the right direction for me. I wish it hadn't come at the expense of such a terrible day, but I know that if I am going to succeed, I really need to be positive and to not beat myself up.

Please pray for healing and understanding. And NEVER take anything or anyone for granted. Ever.

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